Tavern Tales
by Grey Field
Summary: Years after the great war, the city of Omashu must face the most chaotic force on the planet. An earth bender and a warrior walking into a bar...
1. Bar Fight

A Quick note. I know there are already many Sokka and Toph post war hanging out one-shot series fics (I know a one-shot is only one chapter, but sense all these chapters can all stand alone I like my way of describing it, though anthology is a good word), or what ever you want to call them, out there already. This is just something I'm using to improve my writing skills before I try anything serious. I just think that if Sokka and Toph survive the war (Personally I think Toph is going to die, though I hope not), they will both eventually live in Omashu. This in mind this story is about them attending their favorite bar there. The chapters will be written in either Sokka's, Toph's, or the Bartender's point of view, and will be indicated by the title of the chapter. I don't know how many chapters will come out of this, I have 9 or so planned but I'm a slow writer and I might lose interest, so I'll just label it complete when ever.

The last thing I need to address before you start is weather to make this a best buddy story, or have a slight lean towards romance. Either way is good by me, so you decide via review. 

Disclaimer: Ya, Ya...

-Begin

Tavern Tales

Bar Fight - Bartender

It was a normal evening. A fight had started, no one really knew or cared why, most of them just wanted to hit some one else. It was the kind of brawl with about one hundred participants and three hundred sides. So imagine my surprise when I saw a guy and girl calmly walking towards the bar. Somebody through a chair, missing its intended target it flew at the two. The guy, with out breaking stride, casually grabbed the chair out of the air, and dropped it on the ground. The girl tapped his arm, and they both jumped, right over a small boulder some over enthusiastic earth bender sent their way. Never turning off course, ducking under flying boulders, stepping over fallen combatants, they kept there slow advance to the bar.

"Two pints of your strongest stuff." Ordered the boy as he sat down with the girl. I served them their drinks. They razed their drinks and quickly emptied them. The boy signaled for more. A large man with a club charged the boy. The boy, with out even turning to face the man, flicked out a sword, cleanly cut the club in half, and slid the blade back in its sheath with one easy motion. The drunk could not seem to comprehend what just happened, but this was a minor detail since, before he could do any thing about it, the girl waved her hand, and a boulder sent him through a window.

They raised their drinks and again quickly emptied them. Signaling for more, the girl seemed oblivious of another drunk charging her, until she made a quick motion with her hand. The floor under the drunk bulged, flinging him into the boys fist. They went back to drinking.

A body slid across the bar. The two lifted their glasses. Just not quite high enough. The girl's glass was barely nicked, but the ale swished, and one drop fell. Time seemed to slow, the boy watched the drop descend, the girl's expression turned to that of horror. Ever so lightly the drop hit the ground, but some how that little innocent sound filled the tavern.

The two bolted up, standing back to back. The boy pulling out a odd club from seemingly no where.

"So, what's our exact situation, and what are the rules?" asked the girl.

The boy smirked. "Just a standard bar fight. Only rule is don't kill anyone," The boy thought for a second. "and Toph, leave the bar tender standing, we'll want more to drink after all."

"Right!" She shouted while she swiftly brought up her foot, to kick a man between the legs. Then she brought her foot back down to the floor, earth bending three more men through the ceiling. While the girl zealously picked off three or four men at a time, the boy fought defensively. Efficiently dispatching any opponents that came near the girl allowing her to concentrate on knocking more people out. They worked together like veterans who had survived battle after battle and intend to keep up that state of affairs.

The fight raged on for hours, now all united against these two strangers. And no one could touch them. Ducking, and dodging the two fought on. Those they knocked out would come to after a period and rejoin the fight. Not that it mattered. It did not matter how much they through at the girl, the boys club would intercept the projectiles. It did not matter what angle they attacked the boy, a stone would always appear before them. The two were unstoppable.

Once the city guards finally manage to show up they were met with a seen of destruction. My bar was completely demolished, and in the middle of the ruble was the two. Just sipping at their drinks.

And so they were dragged off grinning to prison. That was not the last I would see of them, oh no. I have become quite familiar with their faces since then. You see they have become my best costumers. The belligerent bender and witty warrior. Good old Toph and Sokka.

-End

Ya review if you like, I wont beg.


	2. Strategy

Well 4 reviews and 207 hits, so less then 2 percent reviewed... is that good? I really don't know what the average is...

It has come to my attention that I have an ungodly amount of spelling errors, which I knew before but Ya. I have gone over this chapter multiple times, and I think I've got most of them, but sense I am down right terrible at spelling (Curse my dyslexia!), if you find a glaring error in either this, the previous, any chapters I have yet to write or even the author notes, tell me via review, PM, E-mail, or what ever.

So here's the next chapter, sooner then I anticipated, I guess this concept was easy to write about. This is my first little attempt to get into the mind of Toph, and it when better then I expected. I ended up trying to write it present tense / thoughts, instead of my normal past tense / story telling style. It might get slightly confusing to figure out who's talking, so if it is in a paragraph it's Toph saying it, while if it is stand alone quotes it is Sokka.

Disclaimer: Avatar is sadly not mine to call my own, and the ancient game of chess is to old for any copyright laws and there for ownership to apply. But I do have a nice chess board, all wooden and pretty.

-Begin

Tavern Tales

Strategy - Toph

He's enjoying this the jerk. I know he's sitting there with his smug little smile, secure in the knowledge of his impending victory. I use to be safe from this, Sokka's strategy games. I can't tell the difference between the pieces in most games so he wouldn't ask me to play, but then he just had to learn about chess. A game where all the pieces are different shapes. He even got an earth bender to make stone pieces, the two sides with different bases so I could tell them apart, and a stone board to.

All so I could play a game with him. And now he's trouncing me. Blast him, blast him and his fiddly horse L piece. Next time we spar I'm gonna give him such a thrashing.

"Toph, it's your turn."

Like I don't already know. Make that two thrashings for the git. Ya, I'll send a earth pillar like that, knock him to the dirt like that and-  
No, focus. I've got to focus on the game. Lack of focus is what lost me the last four games... that or the fact that Sokka can think tactical circles around me- no it is definitely the focus, that's why I'm losing.

Now, I could move my castle there, then he'll take my bishop. Maybe if I move my knight like- no that wont work. A-ha! My pawn can take his knight...

Opening a path that his castle can take to get to my bishop. Okay fine, that is fine. I can make up for it. Now if I move this knight like this, he'll only take it with that bishop. But if I were to move my remaining bishop here, he'll take my knight. Oh but this castle here, I can move here, setting up a good move for my next turn.

Leaving his bishop free to take my queen, and completely ruin my strategy. Blast! If I move my castle he'll take my knight, if I move my knight he takes my castle.

"Hay, you want a drink."

God yes. No, beer gets you drunk, drunk people can't focus, people who can't focus lose. Then why has he had three pints and is still winning! "Just water."

He's getting up. Now while his back is turned-

"Oh and no cheating while I'm gone."

Damn. "Fine." As if, I just need to do something small, something he wont see. Ya, just move this pawn here and this bishop here. Ha, he'll never notice that. Hear he comes, act normal, like you were concentrating the whole time. I don't think he sees it...  
What! There is no way that he could... but he did. The jerk.

He's waving a finger at me. Me! The great Toph Bei Fong, most powerful earth bender in the world and he's waving a finger like I'm some kid who got caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Okay, so maybe I don't know for certain that he is, but he's making the tis-king sound and that means finger waggle... I think...

Fine, whatever. Back to the game. The damnable game. Okay if I move my castle here he'll take my knight, but I think then I'll be able to take some of his pawns.

Wait? He's not going for my knight... Oh no. I can not believe I did not see this coming.  
"Check."

Blast! He has me now doesn't he. There is only one move I can make, and then in comes his knight.  
"Check Mate."

Enjoy you victory while you can Sokka. I'm going to hide your meat for this.

"Want to play again, or have you finally realized that you have no chance against the awesomeness of my strategies?"

He knows my answer. We have known each other to long for it to be other wise, but I suppose it's a formality of sorts. Not that it matters. It changes nothing. "Set up the board."

-End  
Ya, I think I'm going to try and stick with my normal style of writing, this was hard to keep up.


	3. Under the Table

It has certainly been a while since I have updated this. Sorry, but I did warn you I would sometimes be slow. This time it was the fault of a research paper, a very busy few weeks, and a dream. The dream I speak of will probably become a chapter after next, after I had it I wanted to make it into this chapter, but the dreaded writers block got in the way. That being said I have the ideas for the next two chapters in my mind. Hopefully I will get them up soon.

Since it seems that very few of you care if this has romance, I've decided to keep things platonic in this fic. This chapter has one little part that could be considered romantic, but could also be protective friend. I might decide to make a romantic counterpart for this, if people want it.

I think I got most of the errors out of this one, after much editing and a long session looking up definitions. I should get a beta reader... and remember if you spot an error tell me, and I'll fix it.

Disclaimer: Who said I don't own Avatar? Oh right, copy-write laws... curses.

-Begin-

Tavern Tales

Under the Table - Bartender

It was an unusual night to be sure, though my definition of a usual night has been severely warped ever since those two entered my tavern, the King's Foot, for the first time. Ever since that night there has been songs, fights, dances, games, and all manner of chaos, but always in the center of this whirling storm of madness the two, Sokka and Toph, stood together, side by side. Just not tonight, which was why this night, that would be normal by any other bar's standards, was so strange.

That night, when they first walked in I was sure they were going to cause something big again. Toph was smirking and Sokka had that little glint in his eye, both signs that they got a new idea that they are ready to try. It is for the times those looks come in to play that I have my insurance for.

They came up to the bar, and set a large stone slab on it. Then they both ordered two drinks. Giving me a nod of acknowledgment they each turned and headed off. In different directions. Odd.

Most nights I would have taken this as a cue to watch them carefully. No telling what they may be up to when separated. At the very least it ought to have some entertainment value... I wonder if I could charge people to come and see their shenanigans... but I digress. The thing is they had to do this on the busiest day of the week. I could not spare the time to check on them nearly as often as I should.

No good can come from those two when left unsupervised. The rest of the normal crowd know this fact quite well. You can tell who 'the normal crowd' are by the speed they get to safety when the roof starts to shake. They learn that asking 'What is happening?' should only be done while there is little chance a rock will fall on their head mid question.

The few glimpses I did catch of Sokka and Toph over the night were... to put mildly, disturbing. They seemed to be flirting with people, many different people. While cleaning a glass I saw Sokka chatting up a redhead. While I cleared a table Toph giggled at some bearded guys jokes. While I brought out food Sokka kissed a tall brunet's hand. While I served drinks Toph brushed her hand against a bald man's. While I argued with a man who had enough for one night, Sokka's arm rapped around a blond's waist. While I 'escorted' a man out Toph batted her eyelashes at a muscle bound jock.

I didn't even know Toph knew how to bat her eyelashes, much less that she would ever try it on some random guy.

Every once in a while I would see either Sokka or Toph walk back up to the bar and make a mark on the stone slab. I was rather unsure why.

As the night went on the crowd began to thin out. Near the final call I could clearly see Toph. She was talking to a scrawny guy who, even as I watched raised a glass to his lips and promptly collapsed. It was not even a very impressive fall. He just folded up into a heap.

She got up and stumbled back to the bar. As she sat down she made another mark on the stone tablet, and asked in a drunken slur, "How... long till final call?"

"About a minute or so," I replied. She ran her hand over the slab, grinned, and held up two fingers.

I began to fill two mugs. Scanning the remaining patrons, I saw Sokka with his arm around the shoulders of a skinny girl. Toph scowled as Sokka burst into laughter about something the girl said. The scowl then turned into a smirk as the girls eyes rolled back and she slid down Sokka's side. Sokka unsteadily set the girl on a chair and walked towards the bar as I called for the final round.

He sat down beside Toph and made another mark on the stone slab. They seemed to be trying to read it when I set the two drinks in front of them.

Sokka hiccuped before asking, "Can you read this?"

I took the slab. There was a neat line down the middle, one side labeled Toph and the other Sokka. Below each name there was a series of tally marks. The first ones were clean and strait, but each line after steadily got messier. Counting them up I stated, "Toph has seven, Sokka has six."

Toph cheered and Sokka groaned. "Well," Said Toph, "Looks... looks like you, you can't keep up meat head."

They both raised there mugs, and took a drink. Sokka set his mug back down, Toph on the other hand did not. Now say what you like, Toph is one who knows how to go unconscious with stile. There is no buckling of knees, or folding up. She stands there, and with no other change in position, besides the ninety degree angle, is on the floor. A nine and a half point knockout.

Sokka looked over at her and grinned. "Seven." Then he lost his balance, slid off his seat, and fell to the ground.

I stared at the place they were sitting before I heard a voice.

"Help I have fallen," Sokka said from the floor. There was a short pause as, I believe, he took full stock of his situation. "and I can't reach my beer."

-End-

What, do you think that those two would have a typical drinking contest?

Now wish me luck as I go off to slay the writers block...

Draw thy weapon foul beast! Have at ye!


	4. Who is First?

I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter. I have a few excuses. First, I have been side tracked by other projects. Secondly, I am not quite happy with this chapter, it just does not seem up to parr with my usual quality.

On another note, I have recently discovered a pet peeve of mine. The misuse of words like redundant really irritates. redundant means to needlessly repeat once self, it does not, in any way shape or form mean stupid, it has the connotation of stupid but it is not a synonym.

That being said I really hope that there are very few errors in this chapter, else I'll be quite the hypocrite.

-Begin-

Tavern Tales

Who is First? - Sokka

It was only a matter of time before Toph got bored with just our normal guard job. For that matter it is only a matter of time before I get bored of it. It is not that we are ungrateful of the nice job and steady income, but we are just to awesome to be content without a bit of adventure in our lives.

Luckily for us, this boredom can be fixed, with the up coming 'Rock Riot IV!' Boo Ya!

With this heavy weight championship up for grabs, guess who got me to sign her up. After I got all the paperwork filled out, I headed on down to the King's Foot.

Sitting down by Toph I said hello and ordered a drink. Toph greeted me and waited. I was sure she wanted to know about the competition, but I wanted to have some fun first.

"Did you do it?" She finally asked.

"Do what?" I replied in a off hand tone.

She punched my arm. "Sign me up for the tournament, Snoozles."

"Oh," I paused for effect. "What tournament?" She punched my arm again. I reached into my sack, and pulled out the sheet of paper which showed the brackets. The eighth slot was filled in 'The Blind Bandit.'

She glared in my general direction "I'm blind. This also means I can't read. Remember that Snoozles?"

I sighed, so much for dramatics. "Yes, I entered you into the tournament."

"All right!" She cheered punching the air. I took a drink, before she asked in a casual tone, "So, do you know who else is competing."

I looked down at the sheet, and pondered my response, "Yes, but you know that these Omashu earth benders get some rather odd nick names."

Toph cocked an eye brow at me, an expression I wish I had never taught her. "You do remember your talking to the blind bandit right?"

"Their names are stranger."

Toph placed her elbows on the counter "Just read the list already."

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." I cleared my throat before continuing, "Who is first, What is second, and I-don't-know is third."

"You have the list?" she asked.

"Yes." She knew this already, so why was she asking?

She paused, I suspect to gather her thoughts, "You know the names of the participants."

"Well of course."

She smacked her hand on the table. "Then tell me!"

I paused, I just told her didn't I? Oh well. "Who is first, What is second and I-don't-know is third."

"Who's first?" She asked using her no nonsense tone.

"Yes," I just told her this.

"What?"

"He's second." Also something I just told her.

"Just tell me the name of the guy up first." She was still using that no nonsense tone.

"Who."

She asked again. "The first participant in the Riot matches."

"Is Who." I answered.

Her face turned red with anger. "What is the name of the guy up first!"

It was my turn to cock an eye brow at her, not that she noticed. "No, What is second, Who is first."

"I don't know!" She screamed.

Why did she bring him up? "He's third, we've been over this."

She paused for a second, apparently even more confused. "Third? How did we end up talking about the third participant?"

"Well you mentioned him." Why else would we be talking about him?

"Forget it," she said with an exasperated sigh, "Who's up fourth then."

"No, Who is up first."

With teeth clenched she said "Tell be the name of the one up fourth."

I answered her "When."

"NOW!" she screamed.

"Well he's up sixth."

"Who's up sixth?" Toph was giving me another one of those looks, the type that half wanted to kill me and half figure out what I was talking about.

At the risk of becoming redundant I answered her, "Who's up first."

She through her hands into the air, "I don't know."

Without missing a beat I replied "He's third."

"I'm asking you about fourth." She said.

"When."

"Just tell me!" Toph was just about pulling her hair out.

"I am telling you." I tried to convince her.

She just rested her head in her hands "What ever."

Before I could think I said, "seventh."

"Seventh?" Her curiosity was peaked again

"Whatever is seventh." I answered.

"Who?" Now her anger was coming back to.

"First of course."

"First is seventh?" Her emotional state went back to confusion.

"No, Whatever is."

Then it came around to raw anger again, "Just shut up!"

"Hu?"

"Shut Up!"

"Oh..." I replied easily. "He's fifth."

Toph bellowed in rage. I quickly hopped off my stool before the rock Toph threw crashed into it. Then nimbly side stepped the next boulder. I did not know it was going to be one of those nights.

-End-

Yes, for those of you who spotted it, this was based off of the comedy skit "Who's on First." If you don't know what that is look it up on you tube to see Abbott and Costello masterpiece.


	5. Haiku

That took a long while for a short chapter, but you know life and all that. Not to mention I have been finally putting my YouTube account (CubedQ) to use by creating one or two videos. Plus, haikus are hard to string together like a conversation. Though to be fair these are not really haikus because they don't have ironic endings, but like I said before I was trying to make it flow like a normal conversation, and that is hard enough.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Air-bender, or any associated thingy-ma-bobbers.

Oh, and the first speaker is Sokka, then it alternates between him and Toph. You all probably would have figured that out quite quickly any way, but I just thought that I would tell you just in case

-Begin-

Tavern Tales

Haiku - None

* * *

Here at the tavern

A battle of wits we fight

A contest to win

* * *

Sokka you're a fool

I shell win this game of wits

tonight you will pay

* * *

You are confident

You need a mind not mussels

This is my domain

* * *

Counting syllables

This does not take that much thought

Hardly a challenge

* * *

Is that what you think

Syllables are not your thing

You'll find this hard

* * *

Little warrior

This is but an easy thing

You don't stand a chance

* * *

Little you call me

One who is barely five foot

Toph you are tiny

* * *

I'm small of body

with a large reputation

known through out the land

* * *

All that fame you have

It is going to your head

Pride before the fall

* * *

This is not my pride

It is but a solid fact

The blind bandits fame

* * *

That is not special

My fame spreads as far as yours

known for wit and mind

* * *

Meat and sarcasm

That is all you amount to

no style at all

* * *

Two good qualities

They have gotten me through much

Better then bending

* * *

How are they better

They have no advantages

Purely useless stuff

* * *

Toph, oh little Toph

You must think out side the box

King Bomi knows this

* * *

That crazy old bat

I do respect him greatly

But foolish he is

* * *

Call your boss foolish

Our friend with the crooked crown

Not wise I do think

* * *

When I see a fool

Then I will call him a fool

For example you

* * *

Your words use to sting

That tung of yours was once sharp

Now it can't cut grass

* * *

My wit is not dull

It is as sharp as ever

Take back what you said

* * *

I can't take it back

These facts can not be changed

The truth is the truth

* * *

Your facts are flimsy

Even I can see that much

Viewing through my feet

* * *

Concerning our feet

I need to get some new shoes

My soles have worn thin

* * *

If you go that way

Some of my shirts need mending

Could you see to them

* * *

What else will we need

If I'm going to market

Might as well stock up

* * *

Eggs, bread, salt, and cheese

We should have enough pepper

And we need more meat

* * *

We always need meat

That seems to cover the food

How is your armer

* * *

My armer is fine

No damage that I can't fix

what of your weapons

* * *

All in good repair

Though I do have some ideas

I could improve some

* * *

Mechanical schemes

What have you come up with now

Will it cause trouble

* * *

An improved crossbow

It will use clock work and springs

Giving it more range

* * *

Even if that's true

It would be harder to fix

And would easily break

* * *

That's five seven six

An error in syllables

You pay for the drinks

* * *

Curse you Sokka.

-End-

I do hope you enjoyed. Did any one notice that I gave both Sokka and Toph 17 lines in this, you know because there is 17 syllables in a haiku. Tell me if I messed up on my counting anywhere in the story.

Luckily, I am mildly inspired for the next chapter, so it hopefully wont take as long if I can manage to get a good run at it. Then again I never seem to do so.


End file.
